Reports in 2017 suggested that Eden Creamery was exploring a sale of the brand, as the company aimed to capitalise on the growing demand for premium, ‘healthy’ ice cream brands from big businesses aiming to adapt to changing consumer habits. Halo Top produces a wide range of low-calorie ice creams, and was one of the first major brands to build a strong presence in the low-calorie ice cream space. Fuck a “frozen dairy dessert.US-based ice cream manufacturer Wells Enterprises has acquired low-calorie ice cream brand Halo Top from Eden Creamery for an undisclosed figure. If you truly do want to combat heart disease and diabetes, there are better ways to do that than sapping delicious foods of the ingredients that make them delicious. I don’t want to live in a world where some stupid moral panic about obesity results in all of us pretending that Halo Top is better than ice cream and carob is better than chocolate. I suppose it’s possible to make a tasty frozen dessert with no fat at all, but like, I’m always going to prefer a Creamsicle over a popsicle, you know? And I’m always going to prefer real, full-fat ice cream over some watery-ass “frozen dairy dessert,” no matter how Millennial-bait-y the packaging is. Ice cream is yummy, and it is yummy because, by law, it must consist of at least ten per cent milk fat. I like my food to be healthy, and I like it to be local, but at the end of the day, the most important thing that a food item can be is yummy. I realize this may be a controversial opinion, but in my view, food should taste good. When Engels used the term “false consciousness” to describe the subordinate class willfully embodying the ideology of the ruling class, he was talking about people who claim to enjoy Halo Top. Instead, we’ve somehow arrived at the point where Halo Top is a best-selling product. We could be going all in on a pint of Ben & Jerry’s or Haagen Dazs if we wanted to. But we could be drinking 2% if we wanted to. ![]() Unfortunately, the iron grip of skim milk has yet to loosen, and much like Deb from Napoleon Dynamite, we are all drinking 1% because we think we’re fat. She says the only way to revive the dairy industry is to bring back full-fat milk, and in so doing remind the public that milk is, in fact, fucking delicious. Get her going, and she will tell you that skim milk is so disgusting it’s bankrupting the dairy industry, driving consumers into the arms of almond milk and soy milk and oat milk. I have a dear friend who is a dairy farmer and a mere mention of skim milk makes her nigh-homicidal. Skim milk is, arguably, not even milk at all. Which is what happens when you try to make ice cream - I’m sorry, frozen dairy dessert - with skim fucking milk. It’s crunchy, almost, with a consistency somewhere between a fresh-out-the-freezer Freezie and a beach in Vancouver in December. Halo Top is gritty - and not the adorable fuzzy orange googly-eyed kind of gritty. It is a “frozen dairy dessert.”ĭespite the fact that Halo Top does not legally qualify as ice cream, the first word that appears when you Google it is “creamy.” ![]() It’s not even ice milk, which must contain between three per cent and five per cent milk fat. Should it fail to meet these thresholds, it is not ice cream at all. By Canadian law, to qualify as “ice cream,” a substance must contain at least 10 per cent milk fat. Let’s return, for just a moment, to the Canadian Food Inspection Agency’s standards for the labeling of ice cream. And I immediately thought, “Oh, no.” And then I immediately reassured myself: how many times in the past year had I seen Halo Top raved about on social media? In fawning reviews, in pretty Instagram spreads? Surely, I reasoned, millions and millions of satisfied customers could not be wrong. I was standing in my kitchen, unpacking my groceries, and the skim caught my eye. The second red flag was the first item in the list of ingredients: skim milk. I bought three pints anyway: birthday cake, peanut butter swirl, and sea salt caramel. I was standing in the ice cream aisle at Loblaw’s, and I saw those three words, and I thought, “Huh, that must mean Halo Top doesn’t meet the Canadian Food Inspection Agency’s legal definition of ‘ice cream.'” I saw those words. The first red flag was printed on the label, three words, tucked small in the bottom right: frozen dairy dessert.
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